I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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