every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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