Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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