sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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