member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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