Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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