called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize