The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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