I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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