I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize