the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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