my soul wont recognize me after tonight
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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