Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize