1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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