she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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