I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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