Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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