you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize