her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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