Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
