i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
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She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
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I just had sex on a roof
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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