I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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