based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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