umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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