I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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