Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
