would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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