Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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