I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize