You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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