I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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