yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize