i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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