Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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