from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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