Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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