you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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