at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I wish you could order shots online.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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