I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
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I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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