Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
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btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
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You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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