Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize