Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize