Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize