It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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