did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
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So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
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When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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