Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
People in love make me want to vomit
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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