3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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