i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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