Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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