We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
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Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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