It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
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If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
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He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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