Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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