I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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