I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize